I'm pregnant with ideas and having intense mood swings.

I'm HATING the monologue I am supposed to be learning but LOVING directing. So I'm having very extreme reactions to this class.

I don't really know why I'm hating the monologue work so much. I just feel very stressed about it, and I feel like there is no way I am going to have that sucker good and ready by the time the final comes around.

I know that I'm loving directing because I feel like I'm having a baby. Wait. That sounds awful. I feel like I'm making a baby...Wait. That sounds awkward. I feel like the scene is my love child with the theatre. We have a tumultuous relationship, the theatre and I, but this child is bringing us together. I guess we'll stay together for the kid. That usually works out really well.

My actor is making good progress with the text, which is amazing. I really want there to be a deep emotional connection between him and his character because it is so important for the effectiveness of the piece. My piece has potential to be very melodramatic if directed poorly so I feel like the more truth and honesty I get my actor to experience, the better the work. That's always true, though.

One issue I am experience directing this is that I keep having this brilliant ideas and then realizing they are very cheesy. I want to take that a step further and say that the more I think about things, the more I feel that everything in the theatre is cheesy. I want to take that a step further and say that the more I think about things the more I think that I hate theatre.

I hate it.

And I love it.

I'm so extreme.